This is a very short video this because
when I hear the question
"When do I need a coach?"
I immediately hear the word 'need'
in the sentence and think
you don't need anything.
What you want to do is you 'want'
to have a coach.
Ok, so when I hear the word need
it implies I should do, I have to,
must do, in some way get a coach to
solve some particular thing.
But the word need implies there's
no commitment or desire to actually
get the help that's actually wanted.
So, swap out that word for 'want'.
When do I want a coach?
When you want a coach is the answer.
When a particular thing you'd like
to tackle or focus on, to raise your game
in some way but I don't want
anybody to need a coach.
I want you to want a coach.
Let me know in the comments below.
When you're thinking about coaching or
taking on a coach you might be asking
yourself the question
"Does coaching style matter?"
I would say it does.
And the reason this question comes to mind
is that there maybe many coaches out there,
that say they're using a particular process,
a particular methodology, a particular technique,
claiming it's the one-stop-amazing-shop
that cures everything and is perfect
for whatever issue or coaching
topic that you have.
The reality is a really good coach will
adapt their style to match the needs
of the coachee or the person they're
working with and they'll have a whole
range of tools and techniques and styles
and ways of thinking and ways of operating
to bring to that moment in coaching
to suit what's needed.
So, does coaching style matter?
Yes it does but genuinely I would avoid
coaches that claim they use one particular
style and their style suits all occasions.
Do you disagree? Agree?
Let me know what you think in the comments below.
So this might be a question that you've heard
or a thought that goes through your head
Should I only get a coach when I need help?
Now this does imply that there's something
wrong with the word help.
It's not ok to ask for help.
I'd like to say, if you're really thinking
that thought or you hear that question.
There person whose coming up with that question
or thought, it's time to get over your self
and realise that everyone needs help
sometimes and there's absolutely nothing
wrong with asking for help.
And help can be a really positive thing
not about necessarily have a I got a problem
or issue that needs resolving.
It might be that I want to raise my
performance up to the next level and I'm
looking for assistance in doing that.
So in answer to that question, there's
nothing wrong in asking for help.
Let me know what you think in
the comments below.
So, is there a right way to coach?
And the answer for me has to yes and no.
There are quite a few different schools
of coaching, people having been brought up
in terms of having learnt a certain
coaching style, a certain set of coaching
tools, a certain methodology, a certain
way of going about it and often with
coaches with less experience they will
tend to stick rigidly to that structure
because it helps them to manage the
coaching process, a kind of a sense of
what to do next.
But more experienced coaches will have
moved way beyond that and they'll have
a big toolkit of tools and techniques,
questions and approaches, tasks and stories
and all sorts of things they can pull
from the toolkit and the most important
thing is does the coaching fit you
and what you're trying to achieve.
And a coach should be able to adapt their
style to what's most effective
in a certain context.
Sometimes they'll be encouraging and
empathic and when they need it they can
be challenging and pushy.
So, you're thinking about coaching
and perhaps you've got a few options you're
The key question for you is does a coach
need to now about my industry
or the role that I do?
Now, there's one very simple answer to that
which is, the answer is no.
If you're purely looking for a
coaching relationship a really good
coach will work with you in terms of
what you see the performance issues are,
what kind of stuff you want to talk about,
where you want to head towards
and help you move towards that,
to help you define what your values are
how they fit what you want to aim for
and how best to get there
and they'll be guided by you in terms
of how to operate.
Now there are added advantages if you've
got a coach that does know about your industry
or does know about your role.
Sometimes, with less experienced coaches
that can get in the way. They will perhaps
jump to conclusions or things like that.
You know, they will have been in the same
experience and they will know what they
So you're interested in coaching
It's something you're considering
but you've never had coaching before perhaps
or maybe it's provided for you by work
or somebody else.
So how would you go about choosing a coach?
is the question.
Now, having trained a lot of coaches and having
been in the coaching field for over 20 years
here's some basic tips on how to choose a coach.
One is before you actually get in a coaching
session with anybody, actually chat to the coach.
All decent coaches will be very happy to
have a preliminary chat, maybe even the first
session for free, where you can gauge the fit.
When I say the fit, it's not some kind of
logical, cognitive thing. It's how you feel
about the coach.
So, questions to ask yourself in terms of a
first session or chatting to a prospective coach
and I would say talk to at least three
Do I feel a fit?
Is there some good rapport?
Do I feel really listened to?
And a really key question is
Is this coach going to challenge me enough?
You may want a lot of...
Ok another common questions about coaching is
How is coaching different from therapy?
Now I would say in my experience
and I'm trained in both
there's two broad kind of differences.
One is coaching is about moving forward
about achieving something in the future
heading towards it
putting things in place to help you do that.
That's a very broad definition of coaching.
Whereas therapy tends to be much more
about the past. Understanding something from
the past, making some sense of it until it
stops being a block or some kind of
limit in your life now.
So that's the broad difference
between coaching and therapy.
Coaching is about the future
Therapy is about the past.
Of course, what will often happen
is you will find something you want to
move towards but you find something
perhaps in the past
that's holding you back.
A good coach, and that's why I've had
therapy training as well, will be able
to handle those mental blocks,
those issues that are standing in your way
that come from the past.
So you may think that coaching is just a
load of waffle and a complete waste
of your time.
And you know what? You're absolutely right.
For you, coaching is just a
load of waffle and a complete waste of time
because if you believe that to be true
if that's where your coming from
where someone is, perhaps at work,
you've been given a coach to work with.
If that's what you believe to be true
then, of course, that's what's going
to become true for you.
You're not going to take it seriously.
You're going to just treat it like
a load of waffle
You're going to be picking holes in
whatever the coach says to you,
however they are trying to help you and
a load of waffle and a waste of time for you.
Now, a really good coach, over time
will convince you otherwise
but the point is, with a belief that you
hold to be true about something
tends to be reinforcing.
With a strong belief about anything
you'll only look for evidence that proves
your belief is true so therefore you'll
only look for evidence to...
So you're thinking about using a coach
Of course an obvious question is
How do I know if this coach is
competent or not?
How do I know if this coach is
competent or not?
Now you can certainly
and this is coming from 20+ years of
teaching coaches and doing a lot of coaching
thousands of hours of coaching in my time
How do you really check that someone is
competent because you could look at all
their qualifications, their memberships
to coaching bodies, their experience,
the number of people they work with
But, trust me, none of that will actually
tell you whether that coach is competent
or not. The only way you can judge
whether a coach is competent or not is
Do they work for you?
Do they work for you?
Now as a rule of thumb, even with even
major issues in coaching, major lifetime
inhibitions, things holding people back,
serious issues that require a mixture of
therapy and coaching and so on
If you're not making significant progress
within 2 sessions, 3 at the most
So a common question about coaching is
Do you have to have a problem?
Coaching is often treated or thought about
as some kind of remedial thing to
solve some kind of problem.
I would emphasise that is just utter rubbish.
So take the metaphor of sports coaching
where you look at the very top people
in their game.
Now the more money they can afford
the bigger the team around them and the
more they have coaches that work on specific
parts of their game.
Think about coaching as about performance.
It's about, from whatever level of performance
you're at, raising your game in some way.
You may be a top performer
You may be in the top 10
and thinking about how you get into the top 3
Coaching can help you do that.
You may have a problem which is getting
in your way of doing that.
A really good coach can handle that and
help you deal with that but think about
coaching is about performance and
It's not about whether you have a problem
or not to be solved.
So let me know what...